The Perfect Wedding, Part 1

18 Jun

The Perfect Wedding Part 1

Well that’s not actually true, I just called it perfect because I wanted to fool you into reading this whole long essay :).  If it were actually perfect it would end with someone giving us a billion dollars.  And a unicorn that farted gold dust.  Actually come to think about it, this whole thing is pretty much a lie because I’m going to talk about the engagement first.

I know this is a break from all my action/adventure freediving stories but I wanted to have something for my kids to read (yep fools, someday hopefully me and Lea will have kids, if they are boys you already know the terror you will face.  If they are girls I’ll sell them off to science for stem cell research or something.  I’m kidding. Maybe.)

So let me restart this story.

The Perfect Engagement

Well that’s actually not all true either, because if it were perfect we’d have won a billion dollars.  Or a unicorn that… Well anyways you get the idea.

When it comes to relationships,  I’m a freaking expert.  My friends always come to me for relationship advice because I can foresee a lot of things that happen in a relationship.  You know why? Mainly because I’ve dated enough wrong people to know a right one.  One really really wise man once gave me the following advice. “You will never ever find someone who is 100% of what you are truly looking for.  So when you meet someone who is 80% you’d better marry them.  Because think about all the losers who you have met/dated who aren’t even 10% of what you are looking for”.  This is very very true, you will have a fantasy person in your life and more than likely they probably look like a supermodel but aren’t shallow or stupid.  If you tell me that’s not what you prefer I’ll straight out call you a liar, that is unless you are blind AND rich.  Because put it this way, lets say you had two girls/guys who were EXACTLY THE SAME, super nice, super rich, great personality, not dumb, etc except one was a troll who lived under a bridge and the other was someone absolutely stunning.  Are you going to tell me you are going to choose the bridgekeeper?  Puhleeeze.  I rest my case counselor.

At any rate I’ve dated enough to know what I was looking for.  I’ll give you my secret list (you should have your own unless you are married already, no I’m not shitting you).  My girl had to be polite, very sweet, very cute, in shape/athletic, come from a good family, have a career or at least a job and goals, not throw a bitchfit when she got mad or didn’t get her way and let me go spearfishing.  Most importantly she had to understand my three c’s of a relationship (that’s communication, commitment, and compromise, yes I made that up myself and if you ever quote it you’d better put me down as a footnote).  That’s pretty much it.  I also tell people you will know if the person is right for you within six months.  Because that’s about how long they can hide their bad qualities, after that the real person shows up.

When I met Lea I was super cautious before we started seriously dating.  She complained later that I didn’t kiss her for a while and that was because I was wary of her.  She seemed too nice, too sweet, and had all the qualities I was looking for.  So it was a big surprise  to everyone when we got engaged about a year later.  It was no surprise to me because I knew I was going to ask her to marry me after four months, the hard part was hoping she’d say yes because I’m pretty much nowhere near ANYONE’S 100 percent list, lol.

My very good friends tom and caroline had gotten engaged a little before we did and tom had bought the ring online.  I was super sketchy about doing that because I figured my money would end up in some south african scheme since online bankers are always asking me to deposit the prince of Nigerias money in my account.  Like I’m going to fall for that AGAIN.

I had been saving up for the ring for quite a while, of course it meant I had to eat flour and water for breakfast, lunch and dinner and sell my unborn kids into slavery but it was all worth it.  At any rate I checked the online place out and it was fully legit, if you want to know where it was pm me and I’ll tell you, but since they aren’t sponsoring me they ain’t getting free advertising!!!  It was really cool because they catalog every one of their stones with a full gem report etc and you can build the ring anyway you want.  I knew Lea wanted a simple solitaire design so I chose a beautiful solitaire that had only one very small inclusion and a nice size.  I chose a platinum band with some small diamonds on the band, the ring was very elegant and classy, I really liked what I had chosen and hoped she would like it as well.  I didn’t know her ring size but her friend Sara had just gotten engaged a bit before and I knew Lea had tried on the ring so I went into stalker mode and figured out Sara’s email address and asked her the approximate ring size.  Sara promised to keep it a secret (she did) and the ring was ordered.  I took time off the day it was to be delivered (they deliver fed ex next day delivery with signature) and it came within a few minutes of what they estimated, once again I was really really impressed with their operation.

I signed for it and ran inside, with shaking hands I opened the ring box and took a breath.  The ring was absolutely stunning and I loved it.

Part two was trying to figure out when the time was going to be right.  I had to wait for a month or so because I wanted it to be a complete surprise.  Lea was finishing up a particularly hard section of her CPA exams so I told her I was going to take her out after one of the exams to reward her for her hard work.

I chose a restaurant in Palos Verdes that overlooks the ocean and made reservations for a window table.  You don’t know how nervous I was, carrying that ring in my breast pocket of my jacket was nerve-wracking.  I kept touching the box to make sure it was still there, I’d excuse myself to go to the restroom and open the box to make sure it was still in there, it was like I turned into some compulsive rainman overnight.  When we finally got seated we had a window view and the timing was perfect, as we finished dinner we had a beautiful sunset.

After dinner I told her I wanted to take her to one of my favorite dive spots, I fired up my car and worked our way down the windy road to the parking lot.  As we got out of the car I pulled out a bag that contained a two boxes.  Lea asked what was in the boxes and I simply muttered, “a surprise”.

We walked to a cliff overlooking the water and found a nice spot to sit down.  I opened the bag and pulled out a box, it had mementos of different things that we had done during our dating period.  A movie stub from our first movie, ticket stubs from the cirque and wicked, plane flight stubs from vacations, as we pulled out each item we talked about it and how much fun we had.

When we were done I pulled out the final box.  Lea unwrapped it and to her surprise it was a bear, one of the beanie baby bears named “hope”.  I told her the story.  A long time ago I had to put my dog down, her name was midnight and it was something that was very very difficult for me, something that I cannot even talk about today.  During that same period an aunt who was close to me also passed, it was probably the toughest year of my life.  Those events taught me that life is way to short to not do what you want to do.  Not too long after I came across this bear and bought it, knowing that whoever I married would get the bear, I put it away in the back of my closet until that week.  When I told Lea the story, I had her read the name of the bear aloud.  I told her that I hoped she understood.  And that I hoped things between us would never change.  And I dropped to one knee and told her more than anything I hoped she would marry me.  I asked her to marry me and opened the ring box from my jacket.

She looked down at that sparkly piece of carbon and said “HONEY!”  And she just kept looking at the ring as I removed it and placed it on her finger.  She was so distracted she never answered me so I had to ask her again.  And she replied “Oh honey, yes, yes of course yes!”  We sat there and chatted and just enjoyed the moment, it was also a full moon that night and that just added to the magic.  I’ll always say that I’m the guy who is always in the right place in the right time and for some reason I’m very lucky, because when things come together they come together exactly right.  This was one of those occasions, it was absolutely perfect in our eyes…

The Restaurant where we had dinnerThe restaurant we had dinner at

Right at sunset, she has no idea what she is in for...

The Ring I put together for her

Moments after she said "yes"...


One Response to “The Perfect Wedding, Part 1”


  1. Fancy That…Fancy This – Guest Post « Healthy Coconut - June 20, 2011

    […] want to pop in the good ole’ blog to say hello. Chris and I are having a great time in the Philippines. We are on Day #13 of our honeymoon, sadly it is […]

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